The Da Vinci Code

I read The Da Vinci Code on Wednesday. This is one of the few books that I think will be better as a movie. Which is not to say that it did not do well in sales as a book. On the contrary, it has sold in numbers that can only be described as perplexing. This is not a well-written book. It is pop fiction. There is little character development. Every single chapter ends with a cliff-hanger sentence, and the chapters themselves are usually no more than 5 pages long (which would be fine if it weren't so goddamn lame). The idea behind the book is quaint. We all like the story of the holy grail, but the idea of a man creating clues to lead you to the resting place of that grail, and to create clues so insanely easy to figure out, now that's a stretch. Too big of a stretch when the book also asks you to believe that this secret sect is protecting the bloodline of Jesus Christ and is willing to die for these mysteries. Given that, I honestly doubt anyone would throw together some clues that are so obvious. What is strange is that the book repeatedly emphasizes the cleverness of the man who made the clues. It's neat that The Da Vinci Code itself has some sort of code in it, no doubt first letters of chapters or something. But overall, the story was disappointing, the characters were shallow and unamusing (I could care less who lived or died), and it was poorly written. Perhaps its huge sales are a testament to the human desire to feel clever and smart and believe in mysteries, even if it means through reading a simple book with simple clues solved by simpletons in the most boring and lackluster of dictions, with little feeling beyond the "Oh shit, not another cliff-hanger only to be resolved four pages later." I waited to read it until it came out in paperback. I can honestly say the wait was worth it because the book is not worth the 18.46 you would pay for the hardback at Borders. Not by a long shot. Read it to experience the cultural phenomenon, but if you read it expecting to be fascinated or titillated, you will probably find yourself disappointed. It's a fast read, which is one of the few things it has going for it. I plan on seeing the movie this weekend. Let's hope Opie, Tom Hanks, Sir Ian McKellen, and that chick from Amelie will make it more interesting.

Addendum: The movie is just as bad as the book. Fortunately, we saw it for free. I wouldn't advise paying to see it though. Ian McKellen and Jean Reno (he's always a badass) were okay, but everything else was pretty bad. Well,the Prodigal Roommate was okay, too. Even covered in blood and scars, Paul Bettany is hotness. Also, Mikey's dad is in it! Just like Spiderman! Wicked. But really. Overall, it is not a good movie. Audrey Tautou was so awful. Very muddled and if people haven't read the book, I daresay horribly confusing. It was a bad movie. Don't see it.